If laughter is the best medicine, then our jokes are sure to lift your spirits and get you energized for the day.
GENERATIONAL COOKING SECRETS
One day, a little girl watched her mother prepare a roast beef. She cut off the ends, tied it with string, added seasoning, and placed it in the roasting pan.
The little girl asked why her mother cut the ends of the roast. After some thought, her mother replied that it was how her own mother had always done it.
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| Image credit: Pixabay |
That evening, the girl asked her grandma why she used to cut the ends of the roast before cooking. After thinking for a moment, the grandma answered that it was the way her mother had done it too.
The girl’s great-grandmother, now elderly and in a nursing home, was then asked the same question. She looked slightly annoyed and said, “So it would fit in the pan, of course.”
Via: Starts at 60
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| Image credit: Pixabay |
THE RAW FLYING STEAK
Impressing a new boss can be tricky, and one netizen's wife gave it her best shot. Unfortunately, things didn’t go as planned. The man shared:
Last night, my wife’s boss from her new job invited us over for dinner. On the way there, my wife reminded me repeatedly just how important it was to make a good impression.
I scoffed and confidently assured her that I always make a great impression.
My wife’s boss, a single woman in her fifties, hosted us for a quiet evening. It was just the three of us. We made small talk over drinks and salads, and everything seemed to be going well.
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| Image credit: Pixabay |
She laughed at my well-timed, perfectly appropriate jokes, and my wife looked pleased. Soon, the main course arrived: a juicy steak for each of us.
As I began cutting into mine, I quickly realized it was severely undercooked.
While I’ve eaten my share of rare steak and generally prefer medium, this was far from rare—practically uncooked.
I probably could’ve revived the cow if I’d tried. Instead, I fiddled with my knife and fork, silently panicking about how to avoid eating it.
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| Image credit: Pixabay |
Could I claim to be vegan? No, I’d already shown excitement at seeing the steak. Just then, our hostess left the table to prepare dessert in the kitchen.
As I scanned the fancy dining room, my eyes landed on the open window of her 3rd-floor apartment. A metaphorical cartoon light bulb lit up over my head.
I knew I had to act fast before she returned. Without hesitation, I grabbed the steak, shook off the juices, and launched it perfectly through the center of the window.
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| Image credit: Pixabay |
Or so I thought. Unbeknownst to me, the window wasn’t open—it was just impeccably clean.
That is, until my nearly raw steak hit it with a loud splat, sliding down and leaving a streak of bloody juice.
My wife, who had been happily enjoying her medium-rare steak and completely unaware of my struggle, turned to see the spectacle.
Her jaw dropped, and she stared at me like I was from another planet. Slowly, her expression shifted to something far more terrifying—one that said, "You’ll never live this down."
Hearing the noise, her boss rushed back into the room. She surveyed the scene: the steak on the windowsill, the blood trail, my empty plate. Her expression was a mix of confusion and disbelief.
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| Image credit: Pixabay |
I was at a loss for words. The silence felt endless but was probably just a few seconds. Finally, I blurted out the best excuse I could muster:
“I’m so sorry. I’m such a klutz. I don’t know what happened—I was cutting it, and it slipped. Ask my wife, I really am a klutz, right, honey? I’ll clean this up. I’m so sorry.”
Both women continued to stare at me like I’d completely lost my mind as I clumsily wiped the blood off the window with my napkin, picked up the steak, and kept muttering nonsense.
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| Image credit: Pixabay |
It was obvious no one believed me. I knew there was only one way out of this mess. I returned to my seat, picked up my utensils, and quietly ate every bite of that cold, raw, bloody steak.
The rest of the evening, I stayed silent. Since the incident, my wife has only said two words to me: “I’m fine.”
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