Joke: A Retired Man Went into the Social Security Office to Apply for Benefits

January 24, 2025

source: shutterstock

A retired man visited the Social Security office to apply for benefits. After a long wait in line, he reached the counter.

The woman at the counter asked for his driver's license to verify his age. He checked his pockets and realized he had forgotten his wallet at home.

An old man posing to camera. | Photo: Pexels

Apologizing, he said, “Will I have to go home and come back now?”

The woman replied, “Unbutton your shirt.” He complied, revealing a chest full of curly silver hair.

A high-rise building. | Photo: Pexels

She said, “That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me,” and proceeded with his application.

When he returned home, he eagerly shared the story with his wife. She remarked, “You should have dropped your pants; you might have qualified for disability, too.”

A woman in the office. | Photo: Pexels

Enjoyed the laugh? Here's another story about an elderly gentleman...

An 85-year-old man was asked by his doctor to provide a sperm sample as part of his physical examination.

The doctor handed him a jar and said, "Take this jar home and bring back a semen sample tomorrow."

The following day, the man returned with the jar, completely clean and empty as it was the day before.

The doctor asked what had happened, and the man explained, "Well, doc, here's the thing—first I tried with my right hand, but nothing. Then I tried with my left hand, still nothing. Then I asked my wife for help.

"She tried with her right hand, then her left hand, still nothing. She tried with her mouth, first with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing.

"We even called Arleen, the neighbor. She gave it a go—first with both hands, then using an armpit, and even tried squeezing it between her knees, but still nothing."